What ifs…


In an article by Matt Williamson dated December 10, 2014 and titled “A Universe of 10 Dimensions”, he postulates:

Beyond the three visible dimensions, (length, width and depth), scientists believe that there may be many more. In fact, the theoretical framework of Superstring Theory posits that the universe exists in ten different dimensions. These different aspects are what govern the universe, the fundamental forces of nature, and all the elementary particles contained within.”

Williamson goes on to say:

“When someone mentions “different dimensions,” we tend to think of things like parallel universes – alternate realities that exist comparable to our own, but where things work or happen differently.”

While I am aware that the Superstring Theory is not in any way as simplistic as that, I sometimes do venture into the hypotheses of: “what ifs”.

  • What if my family and I didn’t have to escape from Hungary in 1956 and arrive as refugees to Canada?
  • What if I didn’t have to learn English which became more my natural voice than my mother tongue, the Hungarian language?
  • What if I hadn’t met and married my soul mate Duncan Scott Kennedy?
  • What if I continued my studies at University and obtained my doctoral degree?
  • What if my career path had completely altered from the federal governments’ social services to academe?
  • What if I had never returned to Hungary as an adult, to walk through the streets of my childhood?
  • What if my husband hadn’t been ordained and I hadn’t become Minister’s wife?
  • What if I had stayed working in Family Violence Prevention longer than age 55?
  • What if circumstances hadn’t been such that we left Ottawa to live in Cornwall?
  • What if my soul mate had not suddenly died at the age of 62?
  • What if I hadn’t had to reinvent “Who I Am” ‒ yet again?

Well of course all these introspective queries are considered poppy-cock both by the realists and by the traditionalists of diverse religions. As we know, the all too numerous Christian religions see only one other dimension ‒ that being heaven or perhaps two ‒ for those who also acknowledge hell. Followers of the faith nevertheless cling to the merits of this life even under suffering, but with a hopeful promise to a spiritual afterlife. The basic concepts of Eastern religions define this material world as an illusion. Their goal is to attain liberation from ignorance and the fusion of the impersonal self with the Absolute. On the other hand, agnostics, atheists and humanists support secularism, looking to science instead of religious dogma in order to understand the world and humanity’s place within it. Science itself continues to unfold a myriad of new theories from one year to the next. The thinkers of today cannot help but consider the perspectives of scientific exploration including even quantum physics as it continues to speculate, searching for proof ‒ for something else other than what we currently know. As for me, I prefer to contemplate the wisdom of philosophers including Plato who for all intents and purposes was the father of the Christian philosophy as well as of the Eastern ones.

And artist and writers throughout the ages continue to create images and echo voices we cannot help but hear. Robert Frost in his poem The Road Not Taken speaks of two roads diverging in the yellow wood and sorry that he could not travel both. While I understand his insight, my sense is that there are many roads before us at the junction of certain periods in our life.  In hindsight, we may consider that the path we took was ordained by fate, something we were meant to take. Or ‒ we may simply see our milestone markers as nothing more than the history of our life path.

So when I arrived at that heart-wrenching milestone on my life path some years ago ‒ the death of my beloved spouse ‒ I had to make a choice as to how I would approach the next phase of my life. Now as a woman alone. I chose to explore where my passion lay. I found it to be in writing. As of now, four novels, with the fifth in progress! These are not books about “Who I am”, but they clearly articulate an aspect of my existence that has taken on a voice.

My life is ‒ what it is. It is neither good nor bad. And it isn’t the milestones that have created major eureka moments, but rather it is the choices I pursued as a result of these milestones that influenced my life path.


©Katalin Kennedy

From my third book: Echoes of Footsteps






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Categories: Marlie Stories and Musings.

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